“Matha, Pitha, Guru, Deivam” — But What If They’re Just Human?

Growing up, I often heard the phrase “Matha, Pitha, Guru, Deivam.” It’s a Sanskrit saying that translates to Mother, Father, Teacher, God—a kind of hierarchy of reverence that shaped much of my childhood. It was a beautiful concept in theory. But in practice, it left little room for imperfection—especially theirs.

My parents were hard-working and deeply committed to providing for our family. And for that, I’ll always be grateful. But where they gave in material comfort and discipline, they lacked something just as important: humility.

In our home, parents were never wrong. Ever. And children? We were never allowed to even suggest otherwise. I remember once, during a driving lesson, I gently pointed out a small mistake my dad made. That moment cost me months of practice—he simply refused to teach me after that. My mistake? Daring to correct him.

With my mom, it’s been harder in other ways. Anytime I try to express hurt or initiate a vulnerable conversation, she brings up years—decades—of things I’ve done wrong. Somehow, the conversation always ends with her as the victim, and me, the one who must apologize.

As an adult, I find myself avoiding meaningful conversations with them altogether. I often ask my husband to sit with me when I talk to them—just his presence helps me stay grounded. Without that emotional buffer, I feel myself crumbling under the pressure of walking on eggshells, terrified of saying the wrong thing.

And here’s the truth I’ve come to embrace:

Parents are not Gods. Teachers are not Gods. Elders are not Gods.

They are humans. Just like us. And like all humans, they are flawed. They make mistakes. They hurt people, sometimes without even realizing it. The difference is, many of them were never taught to admit it.

I’ve made peace with the fact that I can’t change my parents. That ship has sailed. But I can choose a different path. We all can.

To the new generation of parents reading this—please, have the humility to admit when you’re wrong. Your children don’t need perfection. They need honesty. They need to be seen, heard, and respected—not ruled over. We can break the cycle. We can raise our children to speak freely, to express hurt without fear, to know that being loved doesn’t mean being silenced.

Our children are not ours to control—they are a blessing, entrusted to us, to love, guide, and grow alongside.

Let’s do better.